No dancing, no blips, no bleeps, only blood.

it really grosses me out that i had a tail while in the womb

i knew it wouldn't be this easy

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Please note:

The shuttle always orbits with its underside away from the Earth (because that's the side where the heat shielding is strongest), with its cargo bay doors open (because the radiators are on the inner surface of the doors).

this is crass, but, in the interests of full disclosure:

i'm really happy david fucking eddings is dead

James Blunt served in the British Army? In Kosovo?

What the hell?

this is my life

There are also suggestions on how to pray in a zero-gravity environment.

"Conditions at the International Space Station which are so different from those on earth are not a hindrance for the astronaut to fulfil his obligations as a Muslim," it said in a 20-page booklet.

http://physorg.com/news109484101.html








Mecca, from above.

Dragon Wars

This being the internet, I realize that it's normal to exaggerate constantly, but after long and careful reflection on my film-going experience, I can say without any guilt or doubt that Dragon Wars is the worst film I've ever experienced in a theater. I've seen plenty worse on DVD, but that's a different story: films on television have much less power, and one's expectations are modulated accordingly when one pops in a DVD. There's something quite awe-inspiring on seeing a film that absolutely Does Not Work on the big screen.

Dragon Wars cannot be enjoyed on any level, be it populist, intellectual, popcorn, ironic, kitsch, or immature. This is evident from the very first scene, which stuffs into five minutes the aftermath of a serpent attack, a flashback within a flashback involving a wise old antique dealer, 14th century wuxia, and the Korean version of Sauron's army; all without being the least bit enjoyable.

I could go into the plot but I think the most illustrative flaw in the film is the complete lack of dragons. There is precisely *one* dragon in it, for about 5 minutes. When I see a movie entitled Dragon Wars I expect the Battle of Britain, except with dragons. I want good dragons fighting bad dragons, and a third group of desperate humans fighting the dragons en masse. (Note that this scenario requires multiple dragons, and you're start to divine the source of my displeasure.) I think that's a reasonable expectation. Apparently there's a school of thought popular amongst novice and overly-patriotic Korean filmmakers that disagrees with me.


That is all I will say on the matter.

Morning in America

Morning in America
Originally uploaded by cjdavis

From the photograher, Dean Shaddock:
This was captured as I collected my things from airport security (Detroit Metro Concourse A). I think of it as something like a Rorschach test. Is an elderly Catholic nun being frisked by a Muslim security agent the celebration of blind justice? Or is it simply an admission of absurdity?

this is what's become of the zeppelin-filled dream of the future

Mining exploration. For conflict diamonds.

Tracy: "You like Phil Collins?" Jack: "I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?"

Han Solo was 35 in the first Star Wars?

What? Naaah...

And yet Harrison Ford was born in 1942, and Star Wars was released in 1977.

1977
-
1942
=
35

This really bugs me.

The rare plant grew so quickly over a single weekend that it went straight through the roof of the greenhouse

"I can't even tell you how long it must have taken him to construct," he said. "This man obviously was very determined to end his life."

the melvins blend "idiotic" and "badass" even today

I know of at least one, damn it.

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Yahoo Pipes!(?)

Can one of the 4 of you reading this explain to me how to use Pipes? It's really compelling, but it's like mechanical engineering: Theoretically interesting, but in reality I'm too fucking dense to understand, let alone use it.

"All monsters are sentimental"

That's how they manage to express their emotions when on other occasions they have to be incredibly controlled and emotionless. So it goes into a strange and structured place; sentimentality is a very structured version of emotion.

-Cronenberg

i like combs because they cost a dollar

that means you can have a collection for under six dollars

Lamborghini LM002, 1986

The most interesting part of this:
"Uday Hussein, son of Saddam, had one, which the U.S. military cheerfully blew up in 2004 during a 'test' to simulate the effects of a car bomb."

Brian Douglas Wells

Shades of Erie here at home. ABQ Journal, Saturday, Sept 1. Click to read.

Jan Soucek's The Age of Civilization, 1976.

Vek_civilizace_1976_lg
Originally uploaded by kdecay

The unhappier you are, the more ice cream you get

"Employing voice stress analysis of the user’s answers to specific questions, varying degrees of unhappiness are measured and the counteractive quantity of ice cream is dispensed: The more unhappy you are, the more ice cream you need."

sept 11 is the worst holiday

Yes, according to my calendar, it's "Patriot Day."

The worst thing about Sept. 11 is the sharing of Sept. 11 memories. Chuck Klosterman, who for all his ego- and pop-centrism, is capable of some startlingly fresh insights, writes that having someone tell you there memories of where they were on Sept. 11 2001 is exactly analagous to having someone say "I had the weirdest dream last night..." and then elaborating at length: The experience being related is incredibly significant, but only to the speaker.

I can only hope that, if there is a genuine apocalypse, the aftermath isn't quite this tiresome. My vision of a post-apocalyptic wasteland will be severely challenged if the uncivilized denizens insist on talking about "where they were when it happened."

Unpleasant discovery and a question raised.

The Goonies is not set in New England as I had assumed for the last 22 years. It's set in Oregon.

I submit to you that there were no pirates in the Pacific Northwest. Just what is going on?

Now here's a picture of Sloth without his makeup:

sexy words

dresses should dangle

juices should mingle

seafood specials

red lobster is promoting its "endless shrimp" special.

that's a threat in other contexts.

cornfield opposite the business hotel, and a red sunset above the marriott

'nother television series idea

Recursive "24": The suspense of "24" with the existentialist repetition of Groundhog Day.

good (bad?) animated series (jokes?) ideas

David Attenborough's Fantastic Bestiary (like Gilligan's Planet: familiar, comfortable plot/characters given new, fantastic content by the advent of animation).

-Wind in the Willows Babies - Ratty, Mr Toad, and Mole as children. Guest appearances by Otter. Badger plays the "Nanny" role, and assorted stoats and weasels play villains as necessary. Plus - and this is an afterthought because I always forget his appearance in The Wind in the Willows - infrequent appearances by the Great God Pan, who gives assistance and guidance to the animal babies in return for their total obeisance.

Powerful Bovine Muscles

Weekly Alibi v.15 #34, August 26, 2006

Who eats this?!

Supposedly it's "breakfast".

do pyramids prevent earthquakes?

so...yahoo's been hacked

I still use Yahoo Mail and here's what I got today. Besides the whole "loss of six years' email" thing, it's kind of a relief. It's nice to know a massive corporate entity can still be compromised.

you don't need a plan, you need skills and a problem

commuting on a bank holiday makes me feel like the omega man